The following newsletter is sponsored by Grass Clippings. We highly recommend drinking a warm glass of RC Cola before reading. *As always, none of the below information has been fact checked or confirmed in anyway.
"Rolling Ball of Butcher Knives"
/ˈrōliNG/ /bôl/ /ˈbo͝oCHər/ /ˈnīf/ - Swedish in Orgin
In honor of the NFL draft, let's look at a popular football phrase. "Rolling ball of butcher knives" is a widely used term when referencing a player that is a treacherous, hard hitting, downhill runner. These people are to be avoided at all costs.
Used in a sentence:
Keep your eye on Ralph in the Cafeteria. He's a "rolling ball of butcher knives".
With that said, welcome to the Grass Clippings Monthly
In this issue:
Billy's Monthly Insights: *things Billy observed in March
- A Family Tradition
- It Pays To Lose
- The Brilliance of Scottie Scheffler
- Meet Me in the Parking Lot
Updates from the Shop
- Jon Rahm Shoots 29
- Booker is Back
- Shooter Mcgavin
Investing 101 *a Hail Mary approach
- Suns in 6
Here I am the typical golf consumer who rushes out to buy the new stealth carbon eco friendly twist face titanium version 3 golf product. I've been lead to believe over the years that a combination of science, upgraded raw materials, and a strict workout routine has resulted in more distance in my golf game. Well folks, the joke is on me apparently. If you look at the image above it's easy to see where the new found power has come from. These golf manufacturers have secretly been adjusting the degrees and length of newer golf clubs to make you think the upgrade is creating more distance. No no no. In fact, you're not hitting a 7 iron. You're hitting a 6 iron. Have you ever wondered why your wedges and woods list the degrees on the club yet pitching wedge through 4 iron just list an arbitrary number? It's the same reason companies like Taylormade can release 3 new product lines a year. Everyone seems to be losing their marbles over Elon Musk buying twitter, but in my opinion we should be auditing some of these pesky golf companies.
2. Hooters: A Family Tradition
Folks, we're all in need of a heart warming story and what better way to warm the hearts of American families than John Daly and John Dally II teaming up with an iconic American Brand. John Daly Senior has long been loosely affiliated with Hooters having spent a small fortune on wings, breaking the record for time spent in one Arkansas establishment, and practically raising his family there (4 ex wives and 3 children). But in April the relationship was made official with both John Senior and "Little John Daly". Little John is a Freshman on the Arkansas golf team and through NIL sponsorship rules will be wearing Hooters apparel during amateur tournaments.
"Hooters is the ideal place for me to go and unwind after a long day on the course or in the classroom, so I am honored to be chosen as an ambassador for the iconic brand," Daly II said after the deal was consummated.
Folks its great to see a true visionary of a company take interest in our youth.
3. It Pays to Lose
As a Diamondbacks fan, it's pretty deflating to turn on a game and struggle to identify 3 players on the roster. There's a trend in Major League Baseball that is continuing to get worse. Large market teams are out spending small market teams by an alarming amount. As you can see below, the Dodgers out spent the Orioles by nine times in 2022. The question becomes is it profitable to run a baseball team? Apparently extremely. The Orioles did $251 million dollars in revenue last year while finishing dead last by a large margin. Only to follow up in 2022 paying a total payroll of $30 million. On top of that the Orioles franchise is estimated to be worth $1.4 billion dollars. Don't be fooled some owners value winning while others find it very profitable to lose.
4. The Brilliance of Scottie Scheffler
Folks don't blink. You might miss one of the hottest streaks in PGA Tour history. For reference, Scheffler was ranked 61st in the world halfway through the 2020 season climbing all the way to 12th by the end of 2021. That seems impressive, but entering the 2022 season Scheffler was still winless and for being 12th in the world had only made little over $7 million dollars on tour. Well that all changed in 2022. He's played in 14 events this season with 7 top 10's and 4 wins including victories at the Phoenix Open, Arnold Palmer Invitational, the World Matchplay event, and the Masters. It's not like he's padding his stats by winning the Waterbury Open. In fact, he's the first golfer to win a major and world golf championship within a month of eachother. As for the money, his 2022 earnings of $10,098,014 is on track to break the record by a landslide. The leading money winner in 2021 was Jon Rahm who brought home $7,700,00 meanwhile Scheffler has already surpassed that mark in the first few months of the season. The most money made on tour in a given season was in 2014-2015 when Jordan Speith brought home $12,030,465. Scheffler has over 20 starts left this season and that $$ amount is well within reach.
5. Meet Me In the Parking Lot
Well who said golf wasn't a physical sport? One of the most unlikely candidates, Kevin Na, was tangled up in what almost resulted in a driving range dust up. Innocent reporter, Caleb McCabe, commented on twitter on how it never gets old seeing Kevin Na walk in puts. Struggling tour pro Grayson Murray threw a little spice in the salsa when he went after Kevin Na and his pace of play. For context, Grayson Murray's career is in steep decline and he's in the middle of his worst professional season. He's currently splitting time between the Korn Ferry Tour and the PGA Tour and has made 3 of 8 cuts for a whopping $25,000. So to say Grayson might be a bit edgy is an understatement. Kevin Na fired back saying "u missing cuts is getting old". It turns out the pair both played in the Mexico open this past weekend and Grayson described their encounter on the driving range with this quote:
"I went right up to his face and held my ground and I told him, if I wasn't going to get suspended right now I'd drop his ass right there on the range." Mind you this is coming from a guy who played his first half season on the PGA Tour with a missing front tooth or claimed he was going to have playboy bunny Lindsey Pelas caddy for him at the masters.
Elsewhere, Shooter McGavin was wrongfully identified as the elderly golfer who shot a man in the ankle and beat him with a club for walking his dog along the course. Folks, I don't know if we are witnessing a tectonic shift in the usually mundane sport of golf, but I'm kinda into it.
Jon Rahm Wins Mexico Open (+500)
Grass Clippings saw this one coming. It's not often Billy Dobson talks to co owner of Grass Clippings Jimmy Hoselton, but Billy got call from Jimmy a few Friday's ago where he shared some valuable information. See, Jimmy was playing in the Silverleaf member guest and had a nine hole match against #2 player in the world Jon Rahm. Jimmy was calling to inform Billy that Rahm had just shot a 29 (-7) on the front nine with winds blowing at 40 miles an hour. The message was clear: bet Rahm in the next tournament he plays in. The Grass Clippings team took Rahm to win the Mexico Open at (+500) which he won by 1 stroke. It pays to have an ear to the ground.
Booker is Back
Winning an NBA Championship isn't easy. This is just the fourth time in franchise history the Suns have finished the regular season in first place of the Western Conference. The organization has never won a Championship and if they plan on winning in 2022 they'll need the best shooting guard in league to be healthy. For context, since the start of the 2020 - 2021 season the Phoenix Suns have a winning percentage of (.579) when Booker doesn't play and a winning percentage of (.770) when he does play. In last year's NBA Finals, Devin Booker averaged 28.8 points per game on 46% shooting. Now the road to the Finals doesn't get any easier as Luka Doncic and the Mavs come to town, but for the time being let's revel in the fact that Booker is Back.
Book Club Shirts: LIMITED SUPPLY LEFT
It was a big month for Grass Clippings.
*A throw the ball investment strategy. "Sometimes you have to throw an interception to know how to throw a touchdown" - Shane Falco
Well folks, things surely took a hit in April as seemly every tech/growth stock plummeted and here at Grass Clippings we strictly invest in growth potential. Netflix and Carvana took the cake by regressing by over 50% in the month of April. When the tech sector gets beat up like what we saw in April, crypto is typically dragged down with it. Although April was a lackluster month, some intriguing storylines emerged. Bitcoin will become an option in retirement plans.
As for Ethereum, institutional investors are starting to understand the importance of the upcoming merge. Take it from Jim Cramer or a crypto native analyst Arthur Hayes. Regardless, big money is circling in anticipation of the network upgrade.
Message from Killer the CFO:
You hate to see it. What little momentum Billy was able to achieve in March, came to a screeching halt in April. A portfolio loss of -19.2% in April may seem brutal on paper, but with the S&P down -9.11% things don't seem so bad. Especially considering Billy hasn't diversified his portfolio since October 2021.
Looking forward into May, Billy's keeping the theme alive...All in on the phoenix suns to take the series over the Mavs and advance to the western conference finals. Billy has sources deep inside the Suns locker room and front office. For the first time since I've been covering Billy's monthly investments, I fully support & am investing alongside this months selections.
Investment tracker doc can be accessed here.
1. Phoenix Suns - Series winner against Mavs (-300) - $10,000
Folks, free money is free money. Even though the odds at (-300) aren't very sexy we're laying the full monthly allocation. The Mavs are heavily dependent on their guard play between Donnic, Brunson and Dwinddie which will most likely be neutralized by a better Suns backcourt. Expect Deandre Ayton to dominate this series and the Suns to move on in 6.