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March Monthly Golf Newsletter - 2022

The following newsletter is sponsored by Grass Clippings. We highly recommend reading while sitting down. *As always, none of the below information has been fact checked or confirmed in anyway.

"The Great Crop Rotation"


Folks at Grass Clippings it's important we keep up with the seasons. If you haven't noticed, we run a small farming operation outside our shop. We had a successful harvest recently of corn and sunflowers that had been maturing for the better part of 5 months. The entire Grass Clippings team helps maintain the crops, but the operation is overseen by the CFO & Superintendant Connor "Killer" Riley. Killer has 10 years experience growing an assortment of plants and animals. After assessing the soil quality, upcoming weather patterns, and the shop foot traffic, Killer decided cotton would do best for the spring season. "Cotton is resilient which is important when you're growing crops in the middle of a city. I'm used to worrying about wolves, foxes, and chipmunks, but here I worry about vandals and parked cars. We're looking forward to solid spring harvest." - Killer

With that being said, welcome to the Grass Clippings Monthly.

In this issue: 

Billy's Monthly Insights: *things Billy observed in February

  1. Behind the Scenes with the Phoenix Open Keepers
  2. The Demise of Phil Mickelson 
  3. Ice Fishing & Prostitution 
  4. The Greatest Athlete of All-time
  5. The Traveling Keeper: 7 Tournaments,7 Months, in 7 States

Updates from the Shop 

  1. Short Game Chef: Cheat Code
  2. Grass Clippings Weekly Pick'm
  3. New Grass Clippings Hats

Investing 101  *a Hail Mary approach 

  1. Ethereum
  2. Fantom 

1. Behind the Scenes with the Keepers at the Phoenix Open

Folks, the Phoenix Open has come and gone. It was refreshing to see the tournament back at full capacity. As for the Grass Clippings team, we had a chance to partake. We were contacted by the grounds crew at TPC Scottsdale and were invited to come out and document their work. We spent several days out at TPC starting at roughly 4 am in the morning. Being a greenskeeper ain't for the faint of heart especially when you're prepping a golf course for a tournament that hosts close to a million fans. Check out the video we compiled below. Link


2. Phil Mickelson: Put Out To Pasture

Folks if there is one thing to take away from the month of February, it's don't mess with the PGA Tour. The PGA Tour proved just how powerful it was as it seemingly destroyed one of its biggest stars. Phil Mickelson has been conspiring with Saudi Arabia on creating a competing golf tour that would steal some of the top talent from the PGA Tour. He shot himself in the foot when he said he was willing to overlook the human rights crisis in Saudi Arabia in order to gain leverage over the PGA . Since making the comments, almost everyone has come out against Phil Mickelson in a way that would make him look like a war criminal. The PGA Tour has a damn good PR team. Although I don't agree with certain comments he made, I agree with the fact that the PGA Tour shouldn't bar players from playing on competing tours especially if it's worth it financially. People forget that outside the top 100 players golf is a very bleak sport. As for Phil Mickelson, his comments have really backfired. He's been dropped by almost all of his sponsors, the entire tour has turned on him, and he'd be lucky to find a friend. Full Story

3. Ohio Mayor Resigns Over Claims that Ice Fishing Encourages Prostitution

 We've all heard strange things over the past two years, but I'm pretty sure this one takes the cake. During a city council meeting in Hudson, Ohio earlier this month, the Mayor voiced his concerns that allowing ice fishing at a local park could lead to prostitution. Yes, prostitution. Now let me tell you folks, I've been ice fishing for a long time and I ain't never come across any women wandering around on the ice. Maybe I've been fishing on the wrong bodies of water, but this concept seems a bit farfetched to me. As the Mayor so eloquently put,"If you open up this to ice fishing, which while on the surface, it sounds good, then what happens next year? Does somebody come back and say, 'I want an ice shanty in Hudson Springs Park for X amount of time?' And if you then allow ice fishing in shanties then that leads to another problem: prostitution." Well the way the Mayor puts it, its pretty clear that one leads to the other. I might just have to go ice fishing in Ohio next year to see for myself. Full Story

4. Kelly Slater: The Greatest Athlete of All-time?

 We've all been fixated on Tom Brady's retirement to notice what fellow old timer, Kelly Slater, has accomplished in the surfing world. Last month Slater won his 11th world championship at the Billabong Pro Pipeline weeks before turning 50. Over his 30 year career, he has piled up 11 world championships and 56 tour championships. Although surfing isn't recognized as one of the major sports, Slater is being discussed as potentially the greatest athlete of all-time. Stay Grassy Mr. Slater. Full Story

5. Traveling Keeper: 7 Tournaments in 7 Months

While shadowing the grounds crew at TPC during the Phoenix Open, we came across a keeper that was in town from Virginia. He was on the backend of a 3 week stay at TPC Scottsdale to help prep the course for the Phoenix Open. We came to find out that he was on the beginning of a country wide journey to work on the grounds crew of 7 of the 10 TPC courses that hold PGA Tour Events. 7 tournaments, 7 states, in 7 months all while living out a retrofitted van. Grant Lowery is one hell of a grassy man. See the full story below. Full Story


Short Game Chef's New Cheat Code

Grass Clippings Fleet Member, Parker McLachlin, has been cooking up something big. Known as the Short Game Chef on instagram, Parker has been working with Titleist and their Vokey Design team to help innovate the way we use our wedges around the green. Parker realized through playing professionally and teaching the short game that players often don't know how to set their wedges for their intended ball flight. 

Over the past few years, Parker has helped design an alignment tool called "flight lines" that are added to the hosel of Titleist wedges. By using using the lines at address it allows players the peace of mind that the club is in the right place to help produce the desired shot. Brooks Koepka even refereed to the flight lines as "a cheat code". The Vokey Wedges with Flight Lines are set to hit the shelves in coming months and will likely be a game changer for those struggling around the greens. 

Grass Clippings Fantasy Golf Weekly Pick'm

Folks, the Grass Clippings weekly PGA Tour pick'm is back in full swing. It happens every Wednesday. You must make your way into the shop between 11am and 6pm to get your bets in. Again, all bets must be made in the shop. The format changes depending on the tournament and payouts are distributed weekly barring a roll-over. So come on in every Wednesday for a cold beverage and drop a bet at the liquidity room. 

March Schedule: 

Arnold Palmer Invitational 

  • March 3rd-6th 
  • Format: Auction 

The Players

  • March 10th-13th 
  • Format: Auction 

Valspar Championship

  • March 17th-20th 
  • Format: Auction 

Corales Puntacana Resort and Club Championship

  • March 24th-27th 
  • Format: Auction 

Well folks, February was an entertaining month to say the least. The crypto markets whipsawed in both directions due to a litany of headlines. It sure looked liked crypto was headed for a bear market in February only to see a complete reversal. Regardless of price action, the bigger story coming out of February is the growing conversation around government control of money. Canada enacted the Emergencies Act in February that allowed the Canadian government to freeze bank accounts of those participating in protests. Innocent Russian civilians against the war in Ukraine saw their net worth drop by 30% over night due to their radical leader.  Regardless of one's political views, the conversation around alternative payment systems is only picking up and many are calling for Bitcoin's watershed moment in the near future. Above you can see a graph that compares internet usage over the years compared to that of crypto usage. With everything going on in the world and crypto's growing adoption, it seems all but inevitable that crypto's role in the global economy will only continue to grow. 

Message from Killer the CFO:

Just when you think things can't get any worse, they do. Have to admit, I'm running out of adjectives to describe the poor performance I'm seeing out of Billy's monthly investment advice. Billy went all in on sports gambling last month, and it didn't turn out pretty (-50%) in the short but sweet month of February. Thankfully Aaron Rodgers was able to pull out the MVP trophy or else Billy would be fresh out of cash.


To no one's surprise Billy isn't even phased, spirits are high and this month he's heading back to his roots - Crypto. Billy learned a valuable lesson in February, stay in your lane. He's been heard murmuring repeatedly "Stick to your roots and what got you here in the first place Billy". I cant say im confident as we head into the last month of Q1, but god do I hope I'm wrong.


Investment tracker doc can be accessed here


Although we may be at the tail end of this crypto bull run, there are still opportunities within the market. Terra (Luna) had itself one hell of a February and appreciated a whopping 77% in the last week of the month. Although the overall crypto market cap may be stagnant, money is flowing from weaker projects to projects that offer potential and incentives in the near term.  

Allocations for March 2022: 


1. Ethereum ($ETH) $7,000

With the world on the brink of WW3, there's a good chance interest rate hikes get pushed to a later date which would be bullish for crypto. Ethereum is slowly beginning to be added to institutional portfolios especially now that it is a deflationary asset. Ark Invest CEO was quoted saying Ethereum's market cap could reach $20 trillion by 2030. Much like Bitcoin, Ethereum's watershed moment could be right around the corner.  

2. Fantom ($FTM) $3,000

Well, we're playing the Layer 1 narrative here. In the past 10 months, we've seen the likes of Solana, Avax, and Luna appreciate at astounding rates and it makes sense that other promising layer 1's will share in on the upside. FTM now has over $9 billion in Total Locked Value compared to an overall market cap of just over $4 billion making it the most undervalued Layer 1 when looking at it's MC/TVL ratio of 0.4311. If the bull market continues, we expect $FTM to outperform.


-Billy Dobson

Stay Grassy

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